Worthy Witness

He asked that I go into his computer that day.  He was leaving for two days, and there was something wrong with his e-mail.  He couldn’t access it.

I spent the morning cleaning.  It was always like that. He would leave, and I would pull out the vacuum.  Actually, there are two vacuums, one for each floor.  I know that I should start at the top and work my way down, but I don’t; I start with the bathrooms and work my way up.  We can afford a housekeeper, but he never wanted one.  I hate to vacuum, but I look upon it as a sort of penance;  absolution for sins.  I love, though, to wash dishes.  I would never have a dishwasher.  Standing in one spot over the double sink, a spacious window overlooking the entire backyard, hot water, steam as it fills.  I decided to save the dishes for last; meditation.

I finished the cleaning and decided to tackle the internet.   I thought it better to enter the world of frustration prior to the illumination and peace I received from the mindfulness of meditation; i.e. dishwashing.

For some reason, there was no problem accessing his account.  Seven hundred e-mails!   Was this the problem?  I looked into his recently deleted file, and it was beyond my imagination.  How about old mail?  I cleaned that out, and went into his sent file and started to read.  I justified my snoop because of my eagerness to right his wrongs.  Little did I know that I would soon have to confront him with his written wrongs.

There there were, for anyone, especially me, to see:  weekly notes of gifts sent, urgings to come visit, concerns for safety and there was one that even mentioned me!  the bastard.  My investigation took the better part of the day, and it was about 4:00 when I found her picture in some obscure file.  Thank goodness I had a somewhat limited but compelling command of computers.  I used her picture as a screen saver.  The first revenge.

I needed some nourishment, and chocolate is essential in predicaments where your husband is (may be) having an affair.  I took the large Snickers out of the freezer and placed it in the micro wave, pouring myself a hefty cup of morning coffee.  My head was cleared, and I went to the dishes.  I was reminded of Sam’s affair 20 years ago, all events denied by both parties, and the painful years that followed building back the trust I had lost.  He promised it would never happen again.  Hollow words in light of today’s findings.

I went back to the computer.  I laughed at the nonsense of the screen saver.  I was hurt, but he was an old fool, and I would never end the marriage at this late date.  All I wanted was revenge.  The second act was taking the most recent notes and forwarding them back to him so that he would either become totally confused and think he’s suffering from senility or realize that his indiscretion had been found.  I wouldn’t know until he returned.

The third revenge was to confront the other woman.  Doesn’t everyone?  I thought it best, though, to take some time to really reflect on what was unfolding with each click.  I slept on it.

Awaking fresh and motivated, I marveled that it was a perfect day to establish a case for digital infidelity.  Innocent until proven guilty?   I was purely playing the role of Prosecutor.  He would have to defend himself.  Going through the new mail, there was nothing.  It had been weeks since his last response.  I went into his sent file with new insight.  In the Discovery phase, I realized it was he who had initiated the correspondence.  Got ya!  The third revenge was clear.  I would not confront this poor woman, who felt he was too old for him, refused his gifts, and assured him she was safe.  Instead, I would delete all of his files.  In his new mail, I kept only the forwarded three e-mails I had selected to send him, plainly showing his attraction to another woman.  Deleting all of his messages in the sent file, I was going to annihilate his contact file too, but thought not.  However, on second thought, I did just that.

Feeling totally confident that there would be no more of these cyber things, I cooked his favorite dinner, showered and changed into something soft and sexy.  The house was clean and so was his computer.  Revenge is so sweet.